Jack Daniel and Cookie
by vividlyvibrant
Summary: What's a bachelor party without the bachelor? And is anyone really going to care if three underage boys sneak into the dirtiest depths of Las Vegas? Then again, you're only breaking rules if you get caught. :AU LaviAllen, KandaAllen
1. The Devil's Counterpart

JACK DANIEL AND COOKIE - 1

* * *

Reever Wenham, a man of twenty-six, was finally tying the knot. That's right, he was getting married. He and his fiancé were a simple couple, not really enthusiastic on the entire celebration deal. They just wanted to get in and get out, so to speak.

Consequently, Reever had no intention of having a bachelor party. He didn't see the _need _for it. Eighteen-year-old Lavi saw things differenly.

"Reev," Lavi pleaded, walking next to the blonde man. "You've _got _to have a bangin' bachelor party."

The Australian man sighed, scratching his head. "Lavi, I don't have to have anything. It's unnecessary and costly."

"But, Reever! It's in the code!" the redhead explained.

"What code?"

Reever's question caught the one-eyed boy off guard. "The... Code of Man!" he shouted.

The blonde-haired man stopped walking and turned to face the redhead. "Lavi."

"What?"

"I'm not having a bachelor party," he said with finality. Turning on his heel, he walked off, leaving Lavi standing by himself.

Lavi contemplated the situation for a moment, before calling out to the older man. "You're going to have one! Even if I have to kidnap you, Reever Wenham!"

* * *

Lavi wasn't sure if he got it from his ancestors, or if it was just some special trait he was born with, but he always got what he wanted. He wouldn't consider himself spoiled, because, well, that's just dumb. He just used his resources.

Yes, he did plan on kidnapping Reever and taking him to Las Vegas for a bachelor party.

Yes, he did need Allen and Kanda's help to complete this daunting task.

No, they were not yet aware of what Lavi was planning for them. He was going to tell them sooner or later. But even an idiot would know that Allen and Kanda wouldn't go to Las Vegas willingly. Fortunately, the red-haired teenager had a plan.

The three boys were hanging out in Lavi's basement, their usual spot, while Kanda was angrily explaining his day's events.

"Naturally, I would have punched the kid in his face, right? 'Cause you just don't talk about my fucking car like that. But, then I thought about it, and I really didn't want to go to jail just because some brat won't shut his trap. So, I slashed his bike tires instead," the Japanese teenager said shamelessly.

Lavi was only half listening to the story, because he was focused on a way to bring up the topic of bachelor parties and Las Vegas and strippers and alcohol, without raising suspicion.

"You popped his bloody bicycle tires? Do you even know this kid?" Allen asked from the couch he was sitting on.

"Why should I care if I know him or not? He was bagging on my car, brat," the dark-haired teen said grouchily.

"I just think you were overreacting, _Kan-da_," Allen sighed, crossing his arms.

"You wouldn't understand this shit anyway, you're, like, thirteen."

"I'm fifteen!"

"Fifteen? Kid, puberty is gonna hit you like a fucking truck."

"I'm a late bloomer!"

"Fuck that! That's just code for 'I'm going to be four feet tall forever'."

"I'm not that short!"

"Guys, guys," Lavi interrupted their bickering. "Chill out," he said in a bored tone, his chin resting in an upturned palm.

Kanda would have laughed. He would have laughed if he could laugh, but that wasn't possible. "_You're _telling _me _to chill out? Dude, you're the least chill person I know."

"That's not saying much, because Kanda doesn't know anybody," Allen chimed in, smirking.

"Naw, I've been thinking..." the redhead started before the Japanese teenager could retort. He had to make his next few sentences believable, or else his plan would fail. But he wasn't worried. Because, well, he was _Lavi_. Smiling secretly to himself, he looked back at Kanda and Allen.

"I'm worried about Reever," he said, a concerned look on his face.

"Reever's a grown man, he knows what he's doing." Kanda replied blandly, brushing his dark bangs out of his eyes.

"No, dude, you don't understand..." he tried putting as much hurt in his voice as he could whilst keeping a straight face. _Don't laugh, don't laugh, don't laugh._

Kanda stared at the one-eyed teen, his eyes wide. "What the fuck. Stop that!"

"Stop what?" Lavi asked, looking down at the floor.

"That!" the dark-haired boy gestured wildly towards him. "Whatever you're doing right now, fuckin' _stop _it."

"Don't be so bloody heartless, Kanda!" Allen snapped. "Something is obviously troubling him."

This is going perfectly, Lavi thought to himself. "Reever's like the father I never had. I love his Australian ass, and after he gets married, he's not gonna have time for us anymore. He'll be busy with marriage stuff."

"Well, what are we going to do?" Allen asked.

_Hook, line and sinker. _"Well... there is this spot in Henderson I was thinking about taking him. It's a nice little place that we could relax and stuff..."

"Wait, Henderson, Nevada?" Allen cocked an eyebrow.

"Yeah, that's it." Lavi sniffed, rubbing his nose. "I just want to do something nice for him while I still can."

"Henderson's not that far away," the British boy mused aloud.

"Exactly! It would be like a day trip. We would be back before you know it."

"Whoa, back the fuck up," Kanda cut in. "What do you mean, _we_?"

Lavi scratched underneath his bandanna. "I thought you guys would do this with me."

"No. No way in hell am I going to Henderson with you two," he said, sounding extremely serious.

_Goddamn it, Yuu. Don't make this difficult. _Lavi made a wholehearted attempt to look completely heartbroken. Wiping his good eye, he sighed. "I understand, Yuu. It's alright."

"Way to go and be a total arsehole," Allen mumbled, throwing Kanda dirty look.

Leaning back in his chair, Kanda crossed his arms. "Shut your damn mouth, you're annoying me."

Allen tapped his chin with a gloved finger. "Maybe, I'll go ask Lenalee what she thinks about this."

_So, Allen knows how to play dirty._ Lavi tried not to smile. He and Kanda both knew that if Allen went to Lenalee, she would use her baffling feminine powers to somehow force Kanda into going with them. He wouldn't even put up a fight, because he would know he wouldn't win.

"You wouldn't dare." Kanda narrowed his dark eyes.

"Oh, wouldn't I?" Smirking, Allen reached for his cell phone. "I have her on speed dial, you know."

"Brat, I'll fuck your good arm up if you push that button," he growled.

"Whoops, my finger slipped." Pushing the button, Allen held the phone to his ear.

Kanda stood up from his chair. "I'm not joking around, you little fuck."

"What's this? It's ringing?"

"That's it!" Kanda launched across the room, his hands reaching for the British boy's neck. Quickly ducking under Kanda's arms, Allen stood behind him.

"Hello? Lenalee? Yes, I seem to have quite a problem on my hands.... Yes, it does involve Kanda... Why, of course you can talk to him." Allen smiled sweetly as he held out the phone to Kanda. "She wants to talk to you."

"The hell she does." Sighing, the Japanese teenager gingerly took the phone and held it up to his ear. "Yeah?"

Lavi watched with amusement as Lenalee worked her teenage girl charm on Kanda. After a couple minutes on the phone, it was all set. Kanda would go with them to Las Ve- well, Henderson with them for Reever's getaway trip. That wasn't as hard as Lavi thought it would be.

The redhead, grinning like a maniac, folded his hands behind his head. Maybe those acting classes he took when he was younger really did pay off.

* * *

This is what happens when we're bored :D


	2. Work Your Magic

Step one of Operation: Las Vegas had been completed, much to Lavi's delight. He had gotten Allen and Kanda to go along with him to their trip to "Henderson" for a "relaxing weekend". He knew he should have felt bad about lying to his friends, but he also knew that they would thank him in the long run. So, he chose to ignore what was left of his conscience.

Reever was getting married on June 18th. They would leave for their trip on the 16th and leave the morning of the 17th, giving them plenty of time to be back for the wedding preparations. Perfect!

"Why aren't you packed yet, Al? We have two days to pack for Henderson," Lavi said as he took a seat on the edge of Allen's bed. "Do you know what you're gonna bring, Brit?"

The white-haired teenager stood in front of his open closet, tapping his chin. "I'm not sure. Shirts," he picked out a gray long-sleeved shirt. "and maybe some pants," he said, picking out a pair of dark jeans identical to the ones he was already wearing.

"Jesus Christ, Al. We really need to take you shopping," the redhead mumbled as he walked over to the British boy's closet. After poking around for a minute or two, he sighed. None of Allen's clothes were fit for a bachelor party. "Where do you buy all this shit? Black-Mart?"

"N-no! Bright colors don't look good on me," he said, smiling sheepishly.

"Baby, anything will look good on you," Lavi said shamelessly, still flipping through the clothes in Allen's closet.

Before Allen could reply, Kanda walked in the room, eating a sandwich. "I knew you were a fag, Red."

"Where did you get that?" Allen asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"Your kitchen."

"I didn't say you could have a bloody sandwich from my kitchen!"

"You didn't say I _couldn't_ have a sandwich, either. Now, shut the fuck up."

Allen stood there, confused. The Japanese teenager's ability to derail from subjects completely baffled him sometimes.

"Yuu, are you packed yet?" Lavi asked, still glaring at Allen's closet.

"I have two days to pack." He said in a rather bored tone, sitting down at Allen's desk.

"Guys, we have to get our shit together." The redhead scratched underneath his bandanna.

"Maybe we can call Len-" Allen was quickly interrupted before he could finish his statement.

"Fuck no. You're not calling her for something stupid like this. She already thinks you're total idiots," Kanda growled.

"Yuu, she thinks you're an idiot. And Brit might be on to something. Lenalee's a girl, right?" It was more of a statement than a question, but the two boys nodded anyway. Lavi grinned as an idea started to form in his mind. "Then she obviously has that sixth sense for fashion or something, ya know?"

"Fine, don't listen to me, dickhead." Crossing his arms, he leaned back in the desk chair.

Allen blinked. "Excuse me, Lavi, but if we're only going away for a weekend, why can't we just bring regular clothes?"

_Shit._ "Uh, well... You see, Brit... Since it's a nice place, we have to look presentable." Rubbing his chin, Lavi furrowed his eyebrows. "Since Yuu has the charm of a rabid dog, his appearance has to make up for it-"

"The fuck-" Kanda demanded, but was cut short when Lavi continued talking.

"-and since everything in your closet is either gray or black, we need to consult Lenalee for some fashion advice." The redhead nodded to himself approvingly.

"What about you, dickweed?" Kanda scowled. "It's not like you're a walking fashion show either."

Lavi chuckled softly, folding his hands behind his head. "Yuu, I've already got this all covered." He frowned. "I'm actually kinda disappointed that you didn't know that already."

"Whatever," Kanda drawled, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair. "Wake me up when you've got all this shit together."

"Yeah, I'll make sure to do that." Lavi said in his usual, cheerful tone as he walked out of the bedroom to go downstairs and call Lenalee.

* * *

Lavi bounded down the set of stairs in Allen's house and walked into the boy's kitchen. Picking up the telephone off of it's , he dialed Lenalee's number. Leaning his hip on the counter, he waited for her to pick up.

"_Hello?_" The Chinese girl's playful voice sounded in Lavi's ears, making him smile.

"Lenalee? It's Lavi."

"_Oh, hey, Lavi! What's up?_" The redhead could almost imagine her twirling her hair with her fingers as she spoke.

"Nothing, but I gotta tell ya something. You have to promise not to tell anyone."

"_Cross my heart, hope to die,_" she said with a serious tone.

"Good. Well here it goes. We're taking Reever to Las Vegas for his bachelor party."

"_Las Vegas!_ _How are you guys going to get Reever to go to-_"

"Lenaleach, can you be a _little _quieter? I mean, it's not like this is a secret or anything," he said sarcastically. What was wrong with that woman? Almost blowing his plan like that, what was she thinking?

"_Oh, right, right. My bad. Well, how do you plan on doing...that?_"

Looking around his shoulder to make sure no one was around, he cupped his hand over his mouth and whispered, "I've got this insane plan, and I need your help if I'm going to make it work. Are you ready for this?"

Lenalee chuckled. "_Baby, I was born ready for this._"

"Fantastic." Lavi smirked. He began explaining to the younger girl, in great detail, how he planned on driving to Henderson, Las Vegas's neighboring city, and at the last minute, take a little itty bitty detour. Reever won't know what hit him. He would be having the time of his life before he knew it. Lavi was sure of it.

"_You know, Reever's a tough cookie. He's not going to give up that easily,_" she commented.

"A little bit of alcohol will do the man wonders, I'm tellin' ya." He rolled his green eye, placing a hand on his hip.

"_You idiot, Reever doesn't drink!_" Lenalee shrieked, appalled at the idea of the blonde man even taking a _sip_ of alcohol.

"Come on, woman. He's going to be in Las freakin' Vegas. He's gonna have to drink something sooner or later."

"_Make sure you tell me how that works out, because that's gonna be one hell of a story, Lavi,_" the dark-haired girl said sarcastically.

"I know it will! Just you wait, Lenalee Lee. I'll show you, and you're little dog, too!" He smiled at his own bad joke.

"_I'm hanging up now, Lavi._"

"Hold your horses, pretty lady." He leaned back against the kitchen counter and crossed his arms. "I still need your help."

"_Alright, shoot._"

"Well, you already know how Allen looks like a British stripper and Yuu just looks like... Yuu. I need you to give their wardrobes total makeovers. You can do that, right?"

"_Hell yeah, I can do that. But what about you?_"

The redhead coughed loudly. "Oh, please, Lenalee. I'm dead sexy as it is, I don't need your help, but thanks for the offer," he said, grinning.

"_Oh, of course. I must have forgotten_." She laughed lightly. "_Umm, how about you guys meet me at the mall in an hour?_"

"Sounds ace, we'll see you then. Peace out, girl scout," he said before hanging up the phone.

With that part out of the way, the only thing left to do was get Kanda to go to the mall. That was like another step all in itself.

* * *

"Are you high? Why would I want to go to the mall, of all places, with you losers?" Kanda grumbled. Sitting in Allen's desk chair, he leaned back on the two back legs.

"Can you be a doll and _not_ break my chair?" Allen asked, smiling with fake sweetness.

The Japanese teenager paused, narrowing his eyes at the white-haired boy. "Was that a fat joke?"

"Gosh, no! Where would you get that idea?" Crossing his arms, the fifteen-year-old looked rather offended. "I'm not a heartless jackarse, Kanda."

"Jesus Christ, kid. You're retarded voice gives me a goddamn headache," Kanda replied angrily, rubbing his temples.

"Your bloody mug gives me a headache, but you don't hear me complaining about it," Allen retorted with a sniff.

"_Guys_! Let's focus here. We have to meet Lenalee at the mall in exactly-" Pushing up his sleeve, Lavi looked at the watch on his wrist."-fifty-five minutes."

"Like hell we do! You fags can go without me, 'cause I'm not going anywhere with you two," the older boy said with finality, crossing his arms.

It was painfully obvious that the Japanese teenager wasn't going to give up that easily, so Lavi decided to put his cunning ways to use. Tapping his chin, he began to think.

"Aha!" he exclaimed, snapping his fingers. "I've got a proposition for you, Yuu."

"I don't care about your dumb proposition," Kanda replied, stretching his arms and yawning.

"No, but you'll like this one, I promise." Turning to his British friend, he grinned. "You ready for a little bet?"

Allen perked up immediately at that simple little word. "Bet? What are we betting?"

_Perfect! _"How about a nice, friendly game of rock, paper, scissors?" he asked, placing his hands on his friends' shoulders.

Kanda snorted. "Rock, paper, scissors? All right, what are we betting?" He smirked.

"If you win, you don't have to go with us to the mall. But if Al wins-" He turned to Allen and winked. "-you _have _to come with us."

"Fine," the dark-haired teenager stated, brimming with confidence.

"Are you ready?" Allen grinned, hands in position.

"Ready to kick your ass," Kanda replied calmly. Two minutes later, he wasn't so confident in his rock, paper, scissor skills.

"What the fuck! You're cheating!" the Japanese teenager snapped. He stared at his palms in astonishment, wondering what he did to make them betray him like that.

"Come on, Kanda. Maybe you'll win this time," Allen, who was finding their game incredibly entertaining, said reassuringly.

"No, fuck that. You said that the last eight times, punk." Standing up faster than he could blink, he marched towards the door. "How the hell do you get that good at rock, paper, scissors, you little freak?" Slamming the door, the eighteen-year-old stomped down the steps, purposely making more noise than needed.

"Ah, you sure made me proud, Brit." Placing his hands on the smaller boy's shoulders, Lavi grinned. "Seriously though, how _did _you get that good at rock, paper, scissors?"

"If only you knew, Lavi," Allen smiled, slipping away from the redhead's grasp. Holding open the door, he gestured down the stairs. "Shall we?"

Pumping his fist into the air, the one-eyed teenager exlaimed. "Yes! Let's motor, Al. To the mall we go!"

* * *

_Wild Card will always be our baby, but this story is just sooo much fun to write. We hope you guys like it as much as we do. _

_Oh, and guess what! SUMMER VACATION IS HERE and that means more updates. Yessiree, expect more chapters to come. :)_


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